Erik Loomis of LGM posted this on Twitter, and it just made my day. It’s a “Fuck you, pay me!” letter from Civil War soldier and former slave, Jourdon Anderson, to his former master.  It’s beautiful:

Dayton, Ohio, August 7th, 1865. Printed in the New York Tribune, August 22nd, 1865. To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. (“Henry”) Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir:

I got your letter and was glad to find you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Col. Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville hospital, but one of the neighbors told me Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

[Read the rest]

Mitt Romney pals around with Birther moron Donald Trump at the same time the Romney campaign makes a concerted effort to woo black voters. Good luck with that.

(via Instapaper)

(via Instapaper)

(via Instapaper)

Hilarious.

uproxx:

Everything Rihanna Says in ‘Battleship’

• “What’s wrong with you drama queen?

• “Get up princess! Come on!”

• “Typical”

• “Shut up. Shut up.”

• “Oh, this gon’ be sweet. He hates the man.”

• “You go mess with him and see what happens!”

• “Chicken!”

• “Kentucky Fried Chicken!”

• “You look like Colonel Sanders, actually.”

• “Yo Saunders, ever been in a department run by some kind of Donald Trump/Mike Tyson mutant combo?”

• “Nothing, sir.”

• “If you did, it was only in reference to the fact the you both project great physical intensity, sir.”

• “I got something sir, on my camera.”

• “I don’t know.”

• “Is this some kind of exercise?”

• “You ever seen anything like this?”

• “Weird, man.”

• “Real bad idea, Lieutenant.”

• “Lieutenant, get up.”

• “Lieutenant.”

• “Come on, you with me?”

• “Come on, squared away?”

• “What the hell is that?”

• “Ahhhhhhh!”

• “Ahhhhhhh!”

• “What happened?”

• “What?”

• “Who’s in charge?”

• “Fire control’s offline. I need three minutes.”

• “(Heavy sigh)”

• “My dad said they’d come. Said it my whole life. He said one day we’d find them, or they’d find us. Know what else he said? He said, I hope I ain’t around when that day comes.”

• “No sir!”

• “Nothing sir, nothing.”

• “Yo, hey!”

• “Come on, come on, come on.”

• “Mahalo, motherfu—”

• “What the hell is that?”

• “Sir.”

• “Roger, Echo 1-1.”

• “Box 24. Ready to fire.”

• “India 3-7, locked.”

• “Sir, we’re hot over here. We’re good to go, let’s light ‘em up.”

• “Tango 1-9, loaded.”

• “Whiskey 2-5.”

• “Negative, sir, it’s moving all over the place. I can’t get a line on it.”

• “Sucker’s really jumping around.”

• “40 minutes sir.”

• “Contact is seven minutes out and closing fast.”

• “Contact two miles out.”

• “Contact ETA 21 seconds.”

• “Boom.”

• “Yeah!”

• “Get up!”

• “Let’s go!”

• “Go, go, go!”

• “Yes, sir.”

• “Oh yes sir.”

• “Awesome.”

• “Sir, we’ll be in weapons range in 5 minutes.”

• “Aimed at target.”

• “Sir, that’s the wrong direction!”

• “Sir.”

• “Coordinates.”

• “Elevation.”

• “Come on, take the picture, Beast.”

• “Navy!”

• “Come on, Hopper!”

• “Look dapper!”

Campbell Brown needs to stop with the bullshit.  For serious.

I had a pretty hilarious conversation with Hal Sparks and his friend Johnny Million on his radio show on Saturday.  Check it out.